PLAY: HOMESTAY IN PARIS
At an US airport
US Parent #1: Bye Alexis! Don’t eat too many of those French crêpes you love so much!
Alexis: Sorry. Can’t promise that. They are so good!
US Parent #2: “Au revoir”! Bye! Take lots of pictures for me!
US Parent #3: Have fun in Paris! Remember your magic sentence: “Parlez-vous anglais?” Do you speak English?
Jack: Dad, I thought the magic sentence was “Où sont les toilettes, s’il vous plaît?”
US Parent #3: Oh yeah. You are right, knowing where the restroom is can be a life savor as well.
US Parent #4: Bon voyage! Have a good trip! Amusez-vous bien! Have fun!
US Parent #5: Bye Eric my angel, my sweety pie. Be careful pumpkin! Call me as soon as you land. Remember, don’t talk to stangers and brush your teeth every night! Love you!
Eric: Yeah, yeah! Love you too! Bye. Au revoir! I’ll miss you (not!).
In the plane
Olivia: Youpi! On va à Paris! On va à Paris! On va à Paris!
Jack: Yes, we are going to Paris. You don’t have to say that a million times.
Eric: This homestay is going to be so much fun! I can’t wait to meet my new family! Maybe I’ll have more freedom with them!
Alexis: Me too! Moi aussi! My penpal seems really cool. Très cool!
Erin: (Looking very happy) Je suis tellement contente! I can’t wait to be there. This flight seems so long!
Eric: Jack! Jack! Wake up! We are in Paris! JACQUES! Hey brother, are you sleeping? Tu dors? Do you want me to sing you a song to wake you up?
Frère Jacques, frère Jacques
Sonnez les matines, sonnez les matines
Ding, dang, dong. Ding, dang, dong
Jack: Humm? Quoi? On est à Paris? Are we in Paris? Super! (he gets up).
Air hostess: Excusez-moi monsieur mais vous devez rester assis. Please stay seated.
Jack: Oui. Pardon. Pardon Monsieur. Heu, Madame! Heu, I mean, pardon Mademoiselle.
Air hostess: Et attachez votre ceinture, s’il vous plaît.
Jack: “Attachez”… “attachez”… attach what?
Air hostess: Attachez votre ceinture, s’il vous plaît.
Jack: Right, my seat belt, of course.
Charles de Gaulle airport
Olivia: Now that we landed, where shall we go? We need to get our luggage. Which way should we go? (turning to a friend) Your French is better than mine. You ask.
Erin: Me! Moi! I don’t know the word for luggage! Fine, I’ll ask this lady. “Excusez-moi! Où sont les “luggage”?
Lady: Les bagages? C’est tout de suite après la porte, à droite.
Erin: Merci, Madame.
Olivia: What did she say?
Erin: I have no idea, but I heard “à droite” and she pointed to the right. So let’s go right. On y va?
Olivia: Let’s go! Our French families should be waiting for us already. Look, they are right here.
Erin: Where? I don’t see them.
Olivia: À gauche. To your left. See them?
French Family #1: Bonjour! Hello, hello, welcome!
French Family #2: Ça va?
American students: Ça va bien!
French Family #3: Vous avez fait bon voyage?
American students: Oui! It was a very nice trip.
French Family #4: Vous avez vos bagages?
Erin: I know that word! Oui, voilà. Here is our luggage.
French Family #5: Voici notre fille Isabelle.
(Isabelle tries to give the “bise” to one of the boys who backs out, wondering why she wanted to kiss him)
Isabelle: Bienvenue en France! Vous voulez téléphoner à vos parents ou envoyer un texto?
Americans: Un texto? Is that texting?
Eric: I would love to send a “texto”. I bet you my mom is staring at the phone, waiting to hear from her dear son.
Jack: By “dear son” you mean her angel, her sweety pie, or her pumpkin?
Eric: Ha ha! Très drôle! Very funny. Just give me that phone, will you? Texto: Had a good trip. Family looks nice, except for the girl who tried to kiss me! Got 2 go. TTYL! Luv U!
French Family #1
French Family #1: Voici ta chambre, la salle de bains et les toilettes.
Alexis: Les toilettes? Why is it in a separate room? I guess it’s a half bath.
French Family #1: C’est ça oui. Tu as faim?
Alexis: Répétez, s’il vous plaît?
French Family #1: Tu as faim? Tu veux un croissant? Une crêpe au chocolat?
Alexis: Une crêpe au chocolat? Oh OUI! Merci.
French Family #1: Demain, on va visiter la Tour Eiffel.
Alexis: Eiffel Tower. Got it!
French Family #2
French Family #2: Comment t’appelles-tu?
Erin: Je m’appelle Erin.
French Family #2: Aaran? (with strong French accent)
Erin: Heu, Erin.
French Family #2: Aareen (with strong French accent)
Erin: Non, Erin. (focusing on the “r” sound)
French Family #2: Aarrreen (with strong French accent)
At the Eiffel Tower
French Family #3: Voici la Tour Eiffel. Did you know that it was built for the world exhibition in 1889 by Gustave Eiffel?
Olivia: 1889? Vraiment?
French Family #3: Vraiment. And at that time, people thought it was so ugly that they actually signed a petition to have it destroyed.
Jack: Good thing it didn’t happen! The view of Paris from up here is just magnificent! C’est magnifique!
French Family #4: Allons visiter le Louvre!
At the Louvre museum
Olivia: Regardez, c’est la Joconde! The Mona Lisa. I didn’t imagine her so small. Elle est petite!!! Mais le Louvre est très grand! This museum is gigantic! It would take months and months to see everything in here!
French Family #4: Did you know that Louis XIV used to live here and built the Château de Versailles because he thought Le Louvre was too small? Tomorrow we will visit the Château de Versailles with the famous “galerie des glaces.”
Jack: Did she say “glace”? Yum! I love ice cream!
French Family #5
French Family #5: Erriiic! Erriiic! Téléphone! C’est ta maman!
Eric: J’arrive (oh la la la la la la…) Allô?
US family #5: Eric my baby! How are you? How is France? Are you having a good time? Can you understand what they say? How is the food? Are you brushing your teeth every day? Have you been visiting places? How is the tour Eiffel?
US family #5: And what about the château de Versailles? Is it…
Eric: Mom! Stop! To answer your questions: Good, good, yes, yes, good, and yes I AM brushing my teeth! The Eiffel tower was wonderful and we are visiting the Château de Versailles tomorrow and something about the “Galerie des glaces.”
US family #5: What’s that?
Eric: I am not sure but Jack said “glace” means ice cream so I am sure it will be good!
US family #5: Ok darling, mommy has to go. Have a wonderful time and make sure you don’t talk to…
Eric: …strangers. I know mom, I know! Bye (hanging up the phone) Oh la la la la la la.
At the château de Versailles
Jack: Wow! C’est beau!
Olivia: C’est immense!
Erin: C’est incroyable!
Eric: I wonder what kind of ice cream they have here. Big fancy ones I am sure!
Alexis: I hope so. I am hungry (rubbing her belly) J’ai faim. Oh, regardez! Un stand de crêpes! (going to the crêpe stand) Bonjour. Je voudrais une crêpe au Nutella, s’il vous plaît.
Vendor: Voilà mademoiselle.
Alexis: C’est combien?
Vendor: C’est 3 euros.
Alexis: Voilà. Merci.
Vendor: Merci. Bonne journée!
Olivia (to Alexis): You are eating another crêpe? How many have you had since you got here?
Alexis: Not too many. Just one every time we see a “stand de crêpes.”
Olivia: But there is a “stand de crêpe” in every street!
Alexis: So what’s your point?
(Inside the château)
Gardien: Vos tickets s’il vous plaît?…(students giving tickets) Merci. (To Alexis) Désolé, vous ne pouvez pas manger dans le Château.
Gardien: Vous ne pouvez pas manger dans le château. C’est interdit! Alors la crêpe… à la poubelle! Allez-y, entrez. Votre guide electronique est à gauche.
Jack: What did he say?
Erin: I am not sure. Something about the crêpe in the trash. Just follow the others. “A gauche”, that’s left. (students picking up electronic guides)
Guide adulte français (boring voice): Bonjour. Vous voici dans le château de Versailles…
Jack: How do you get English?
Erin: Numéro 2.
Guide adulte anglais (boring voice): When the château was built, Versailles was a country village; today, however, it is a suburb of Paris, some twenty kilometres southwest of the French capital. The court of Versailles was the centre of political power in France from 1682…
(Jack looking at Olivia who was laughing)
Jack: What’s so funny?
Olivia: The guide! He is hilarious!
Jack: Vraiment??? I find him extremely boring. Très rasoir!
Olivia: I bet you chose the adult guide. Find the one for kids. Numéro 4.
Guide enfant espagnol (fun voice): El Palacio de Versalles es un edificio como una pequeña ciudad …
Jack: Oh non, that’s “espagnol.” I pressed 3 by mistake.
Guide enfant anglais (fun voice): “…so after being taxed so much, the people in France got mad at the king and decided to start a revolution. The king was emprisoned and sentenced to death. No electric chair for him, non non, the guillotine was more fashionable at that time. You stick your head in the hole, the blade comes down and BANG your head falls. Quick and easy! Not very clean though…
Olivia: YACK! That’s just gross. I am going to the galerie des glaces.
Eric: Ice cream! Yeah! Now you are talking. All this talk about the king just made me hungry.
In the Galerie des glaces
Eric: I don’t see any ice cream stand. Shall we ask? (turning to the gardien) Excusez-moi Monsieur? Où sont les glaces?
Gardien: Pardon? Quelles glaces?
Eric: You know! Glaces! Vanille, chocolat, café, banana split… Glaces!
Gardien: Vous voulez la Galerie des glaces? Voilà! (pointing to the hallway of mirrors)
Alexis: What? No ice cream? I was a little hungry. Zut alors! I guess “glace” also means mirror. Oh, I don’t feel so well. I think I am going to throw up. Let’s go back home. On y va?
Eric: On y va!
French Family #1
Famille #1: Ça va Alexis?
Alexis: Non, ça va mal! Je suis malade! Je vais vomir!
Famille #1: Oh oh! Crise de foie. C’est pas grave!
Alexis: Can I call my maman?
Famille #1: Oui! Bien sûr! Pauvre petite!
Alexis: Allô maman? Oh I feel sick. I have a “crise de foie.”
American mom #1: What’s that honey? Are you ok?
Alexis: I looked up the words in the dictionary. I think it’s a liver crisis. Mom, am I going to die?
American mom #1: No honey, you will be fine. Dad just googled it and your liver is tired from all the chocolate you must have eaten. You will feel better in a couple of days. Stop eating those crêpes you were telling me about yesterday. Bonne chance!
Alexis: Buy mom! Thanks! I’ll see you tomorrow since this is our last day here already.
At the airport
Famille #1: Au revoir Alexis!
Famille #2: Au revoir Aareen!
Famille #3 et #4: Bon voyage! A bientôt.
Fille famille #5: Au revoir Eric (giving him the “bise”). Bisous. A l’année prochaine!