Du or Sie? How to choose the right 'you' in German
Using du with your new boss or Sie with a five-year-old will get you some funny looks. German has two ways of saying you, and the choice says something about your relationship. The rules have relaxed over the past twenty years, but they still matter, especially at work and with older people.
The basics
| Informal | Formal | |
|---|---|---|
| you (one person) | du | Sie |
| you (several people) | ihr | Sie |
| your | dein / euer | Ihr |
| to you | dir / euch | Ihnen |
Formal Sie is always written with a capital S, and it uses the same verb form as sie (they): Sie sind, Sie haben, Sie kommen. That makes it easy to conjugate.
Use du with…
- family, friends and partners
- children and teenagers
- fellow students, and usually people of your age in casual settings
- colleagues in many modern companies, especially start-ups and tech
- animals, God, and yourself
- in many online spaces, apps and ads aimed at young people
Use Sie with…
- strangers who are adults, especially older people
- shop staff, waiters, officials, doctors and police
- your boss and customers, unless they offer du
- teachers at school and professors at university
- anyone you're unsure about
Switching from Sie to du
Moving to du is a small social event in Germany, called das Du anbieten (offering the du). Traditionally the older person, the more senior person, or the woman offers it. The phrases are simple:
Once you've switched to du, switching back is very unusual and would signal a falling-out. The verbs are duzen (to use du) and siezen (to use Sie).
Regional and generational differences
Austria and Switzerland follow similar rules, though Swiss German speakers tend to switch to du faster in informal settings. Young people almost always use du with each other, even when meeting for the first time. Some companies, like IKEA in Germany, use du with customers as part of their brand.
Practice
Would you use du or Sie? 1) A ticket inspector on a train. 2) Your friend's eight-year-old. 3) A new colleague at a small design studio who introduces herself by first name. 4) Your landlord.
Suggested answers: 1 Sie. 2 du. 3 du is likely fine. 4 Sie, unless they offer du.
In 2Lingua, Lina switches between du and Sie depending on the scene: formal at the hotel reception, informal with a new flatmate. It's a good way to get used to both.